I can remember my hands shaking. Feeling light headed. Wondering how on earth I would keep this white dress clean. I worried a lot that day – mostly about tripping and breaking my corsage (I like to keep it old school). But never once did it cross my mind – not a single worry overcame me – as I married my best friend. We were kids: I was barely 19, he newly 22. The ceremony was over faster than I could blink. It was surreal. I can’t believe it was 15 years ago. But what will always be clear to me are the words the pastor told us, in a quiet moment after we signed our papers. The secret to a long marriage is this: protect each other.
Just like last year’s post, Nick and I are going to share our thoughts with you on our wedding anniversary. This year’s theme is based on what our pastor said to us, and what that means to us. You can read our 14th wedding anniversary post here.
I know. “Protect each other.” I felt the same way you do right now, reading this. Such a small, easy to say thing. That means so many things. But the more we talked about it, and as the years have gone on, the more I believe this to be true. We protect each other. Every time I think of the situation at hand, I always think of what is best for him, just like he does for me.
Protecting him may mean having an uncomfortable conversation to protect him from future heartache. He might have to tell me to cool it with the shopping – because fun in the moment means stress and anxiety with bills later.
It can be interpreted in so many ways – but as long as you both come at every aspect of your marriage from that theme – you’ll always do the right thing for each other. Protect him like you would protect the most precious thing in the world… because he is.
Everyone knows that your wife is always right. And this is true, but not in the way you think.
This isn’t about you versus her, or that she’s right at the expense of you being wrong. Instead, it’s about protecting each other, but not by placing each other in bubbles that separate you from the world.
If she says, “The sky is green”, then she’s right. Okay, so the sky isn’t actually green, but this isn’t about the color of the sky. Why did she say this?
There’s something in what she’s saying that is revealing something true about what she’s thinking or feeling. The manifestation of this is that she’s saying something that sounds ridiculous. But don’t focus on the manifestation — Focus on the truth behind it.
Many others, if not all, outside of your relationship will not do this. And why should they? They’re not your committed partner, it’s not their job. But it is yours — To make sure that each of you is the other’s safe place, where you can say anything, because you know that your partner will recognize the honest intentions behind what you’re communicating, rather than attack you for the literal meaning of what comes out of your mouth.
Thank you so much for reading this post, and allowing us to share a piece of our hearts with you. We hope it was helpful, insightful and inspiring to you.